Memories of Gold Page 5
It only took a few moments for her to realize where they were going, and her heart skipped a beat. It was an important place to their childhood selves, even more important than the forest. They had only gone there a few times after they had discovered it, but each time was very solemn. He was taking her to the Promise Rock.
When they arrived, she felt a little disappointed. The giant and imposing rock that meant so much to her younger self now appeared to be an average-sized boulder, certainly nothing spectacular. But when Jimmy turned to her, his expression serious, she felt the meaning of it in her heart.
He took her free hand in his and stood before her, his head bowed. He looked like a groom solemnizing his vows in front of an altar. She realized with a shocking thrill that, if that were so, she was the bride. She waited to hear what he would say.
He said, “Maria, I promised you a decade ago, in this spot, that I would find you again someday.”
Part of her wanted to laugh at the gravity with which he took a young boy’s promise, but she couldn’t help but get sucked in by his serious demeanor. She waited to hear what he would say next.
After a brief pause, he continued. “I have finally fulfilled that promise, and I’m so thankful I did. You are every bit as wonderful as you were back then and much more.”
He trailed off and she blushed. The moment became awkward and they dropped their hands. He seemed unsure what to say next. He rubbed the back of his neck and resumed a normal tone. “I’m sorry, this is silly—”
“No. I mean, it is, yes, but I like silly. That was an important moment for me, too. I kept looking for you, you know. Waiting for you to turn up. And here you are.”
He coughed and seemed sheepish at her sentiment. Mary didn’t know what to do to break the tension, so she continued in a solemn tone, saying the incantation they had invented so many years before. “You have fulfilled your promise to me, James Parker. May you go in peace.”
He laughed and pulled her into a hug. Mary pressed against him for a second, reveling in his feel and smell, then separated reluctantly. She looked down, not wanting to meet his eyes for fear he would see what was lurking in hers. When she started to turn away from the rock, though, his hand grasped hers again, a feeling that was becoming much too pleasant and familiar. “Hold on,” he said, “We’re not done.”
She turned to look at him, and he pressed his hand to the rock, the proper way to make a true promise. He said, “I promise you, Maria Fisher, that I won’t disappear again. Whatever happens, you won’t ever need to wait for me again.”
His expression was so earnest that it took all her effort not to hug him again. She could only nod, at a loss for words.
The walk back was quiet. Mary felt more content than she had in, well, longer than she would like to think. But there was also the darkness lurking deep inside her, the worry that he would ask about her work, the guilt about keeping the information from him. It was like a ball of ice sitting on her stomach, the one bad feeling in a sea of good.
Jimmy wasn’t sure what had made him do it. A whim had caught him and pulled him to the rock with an almost uncontrollable urge. He didn’t want to disappear from her again, but would he have a choice? His employment at the town bank would likely be finished in a week or two, and then what? He couldn’t simply abandon San Francisco and his ambitions to stay here in Shasta.
When he glanced over at Maria, a small smile dancing along her lips, thoughts of San Francisco and the big dream house seemed far away. Two possible lives were warring inside him, and he couldn’t say which would win.
When they arrived at his boarding house, she promised to meet him the next morning—his last free day before he needed to begin his position in the bank—at an outcropping of caves, another landmark of their childhood, before taking her leave. He wanted to pull her into his arms, but held his distance for fear that he’d never want to let her go.
Mary left as Jimmy disappeared into the house, trudging slowly back to the town, to her life. Every ounce of her wanted to go the other direction, but she was too level-headed to falter. She had gotten through the first few weeks at the saloon, even though the memory of those times still sent a shudder through her, and she could get through this, too.
Before going to the saloon for the evening, she took a short trip over to see Emma. She was somewhat better than she had been the day before, though still reticent and quick to disappear into her own head, and Mary left after only a few minutes.
Then it was back to Daisy’s, no matter how much her insides balked at the idea.
Chapter 4
The next morning, Jimmy bounded out of bed, refreshed and so happy he could hardly think straight. The day before had been so perfect, his time with Maria so wonderful, that he had difficulty believing it was real. And he would get more time with her again today. It was more than he could have hoped for.
Once he was dressed and had eaten and packed a small bag for the day, he left, heading to the caves. She would most likely make the trek hours later, though they had not set a specific time, but he needed time to walk and think, and it was a beautiful warm morning.
He strode with rapid movements out of the town center, happy to get into the fields and grasses that surrounded Shasta. He never felt quite as much like his childhood self as when he walked through open spaces and breathed the fresh clean air, not yet stale from bodies and horses. In San Francisco, he was an adult, and for a very good reason, but there was something refreshing about wandering through the open country.
The caves were only a short distance from his boarding house, so he was still full of energy when he arrived. Setting his bag carefully on the ground, he hiked above the caves and looked out into the distance toward the town. The houses and buildings and other trappings of town life spread out before him, tiny and indefinite.
Then he spotted something that grabbed his attention: a small, dark-haired figure in a yellow dress, walking in his direction. His heart leapt; it had to be Maria, far earlier than he had expected. He began to climb down, eager to see her, and reached the mouth of their cave as she arrived.
“I didn’t expect you to be here quite this early. It seems you managed to change your habit of sleeping through the loveliest part of the day. You must have started going to sleep at a reasonable hour at some point.”
She didn’t answer, but he took no notice. He was already turning to the cave mouth, studying it. “How many times do you think we got lost in there, sure we would never see the light of day?”
“A hundred or more, most likely,” she responded in a strained voice.
He turned and studied her for the first time; there were dark circles under her eyes that had not been there the day before, and she looked fatigued. He led her to a nearby rock under the shade of a giant tree—a chair they had shared many a time as children—and helped her onto it, hoping a rest would restore her spirits. He sat next to her, the rock too small for both of them as adults, so their bodies pressed together. He felt the thrill of their closeness, but forced his attention to stay on his concerns. “Are you well, Maria?”
She smiled, and her beauty shone through the mask of exhaustion that covered her face. “Yes, just tired. I…didn’t get much sleep last night.”
He noted her stammer. She was so exhausted, she even found it difficult to speak. Wanting to touch her, to comfort her somehow, he placed his hand on hers and spoke in low voice. “You should get some sleep. We can do this another day.”
She shook her head in that defiant way he knew so well. “You must work tomorrow, and who knows how much time you will have free after that? And if you leave in a week or so, we might be separated for years again. I want to store up every moment I have with you.”
Jimmy nodded, somber for a moment. He had spent many of his waking moments thinking about the same thing and working up the courage to speak his mind. This was as good a time as any.
When he spoke, he tried to make his voice lighthearted, like this was a friendly ges
ture and nothing more, no matter what his heart said. “If I leave, you should consider coming with me. Many people love San Francisco.”
Her pause and the grimace that crossed her face told him all he needed to know, and he felt his soul sink. Quietly, she muttered, “I can’t. This is my home.”
The last part sounded unconvincing. He tried not to let his disappointment show. Until that moment, he hadn’t realized how much he wanted her to say yes.
Her fingers touched his, squeezing for a moment. “It’s hard to explain, Jimmy. I want to, but I can’t.”
His heart lifted a little at that. She sounded genuine, and her fingers touched his so lovingly that his hope rekindled. Perhaps he would simply need to convince her. Even if it took the rest of their time together, it would be worth it. He said, “I understand. But it’s a wonderful city. You would like it, I think.”
“Do you like San Francisco?” she asked.
Jimmy nodded, but it was forced. The city was a little dirty and crowded for his taste, but his job was there. His dreams were there. “It’s interesting and full of life. And the food is delicious.”
She gave him a little sad smile, and he decided it would be best not to press the topic more for the moment. There would be time enough later.
They were silent for a long while, listening to the birds, comfortable in their closeness, as Mary lost herself in thought. San Francisco seemed exciting, but the idea of a big city didn’t call to her. She liked being out in the wild, away from civilization, if only for a short time.
She missed the freedom to run through the grasses and sit all day beside the river attempting to catch fish, though the hours rarely brought success. She hadn’t actually realized how much of her soul had shriveled simply from staying in town for so long; it was only when they had visited the forest the day before that it began to stretch out again.
Still, even with that, she would follow him, if not for Emma. The poor girl could never live that close to so many people. Even getting her accustomed to Mrs. Harper and her family had been a chore. She could never put her through that. But it was Jimmy—how could she let him go after she had only just found him again?
She focused on him so close to her. The press of his warm body against hers set her blood to racing, and she could feel desire bubbling underneath the surface like a pot of water right before it begins to boil. Although Maria had been tired and achy from lack of sleep when she arrived, the surroundings and Jimmy’s tenderness and proximity rejuvenated her. She put aside her worries and let herself enjoy the moment.
When she felt she could stand it no longer and could barely stop herself from pressing into him more purposely, she stood. “I want to explore the caves, but we forgot to bring a lantern, so I suppose a walk around the outside will have to do.”
Jimmy smirked at her. “What do you mean, ‘we forgot a lantern’? I did nothing of the sort.”
He reached into a sack lying near his feet Maria had failed to notice and pulled out a small lantern. She shook her head, impressed with his forethought. “Well, Jimmy, you came prepared I see. I suppose you brought a meal as well?”
He beamed. “I certainly did, but that is for after we escape the caves alive.”
She laughed, her exhaustion forgotten. “We may starve to death only a few hundred feet from a perfectly good meal if you leave it out here. I suppose we ought to take it with us, lest we become lost and need it to ensure our survival.”
He tried to make his face serious, but the corners of his lips turned up involuntarily. “What if we meet some dangerous animal in there, though, and they are attracted to the scent of the provisions? I’m not sure we should risk that.”
The conversation was so silly, she could not keep a straight face, no matter how hard she tried. “We can simply throw some scraps to the animal, thereby distracting it as we make our escape.”
“Your logic is too sound for argument. We shall take the rations with us.”
He set the lantern on the rock, lit the wick, and shuttered it, leaving only a small swath of light to guide their way. He passed the light to her and grasped the bag, and together they walked into the cave.
As soon as they left the entryway, the lantern’s small beam became their only source of light. When Mary spoke, her voice bounced back in soft imitation. “You know, if we opened the shutters on the lantern, we would be able to see our surroundings instead of just the few feet ahead of us.”
“What’s the fun in that?” Jimmy countered.
Mary laughed and moved deeper into the cave, her feet confidently following the trails they had taken so many years ago. They wandered until they reached the end; the deep mysterious cave of their childhood in reality only went a few hundred feet into the mountain face. They laughed at the discovery, then turned back.
“I suppose we won’t lose our way and starve,” Jimmy commented.
Maria shook her head. “It will be long before noon when we step into daylight. Though we might as well eat sitting on that rock in the shade of the large oak. It will be a perfect spot for a picnic.”
“It’ll be just like old times, eating bread and cheese and sitting on that rock together.”
She thought of the way their arms and hips and legs had pressed together when they sat side-by-side on the rock and felt her face warm at the idea. Not precisely like old times.
Outside, they sat and ate, though she was not particularly hungry. It was warm and peaceful. At first they were quiet, but the constant press of him against her became too much again, and she started conversation to ease her mind off his body. “Tell me more about what you’re doing at the bank, Jimmy. Why are you here?”
He grasped the opportunity to focus himself on anything but her intoxicating presence with eagerness. “I work with the bank. The old manager is leaving, so I was sent to gather information about how the place runs and prepare everything for the new manager, so the transition will be smooth when he takes the reins. Once they choose someone to manage it, of course.”
As he spoke, he watched her, fascinated with the tiny shifts in her expression with every new word. Interest to concern to disappointment to hope, all in a few seconds. He wondered at the cause of each one. Concern for the old manager, most likely. Disappointment that someone else would become the new manager, perhaps? Hope that he might stay? The idea brought him a strange kind of joy.
Maria looked away from him, her eyes on the ground in front of her. “How long will you be in town, then?”
He looked at the patch of dirt, too. He didn’t want to see whatever expression that might flit across. “I’m not quite sure. Could be just a week, could be two or three. It’s a fairly simple assignment, and I’m mostly just taking notes to pass along to the new manager and reporting on it to San Francisco.”
There was a pause in the conversation. Jimmy tried not to fidget, but he felt like a child again, waiting for an adult to tell him what to do next. He sneaked a peek at Maria’s face, but it was hard to read. Her jaw was clenched, her lips a straight line. Was she unhappy or angry or simply thoughtful?
Finally, it softened, and she turned back to him. Her voice and face held nothing but interest, but her eyes were still dark with whatever emotion was lurking underneath. “Is this what you do all the time? You go to different towns and prepare things for new managers?”
“No, this is the first time I’ve ever done something like this. Usually I work in San Francisco at the main branch.”
A small spark lit her eyes, and the edges of her lips curled. He wasn’t sure why, but he hoped it was a signal that the awkward moment had passed. She said, “So the first time you were sent out to a town like this, it just happened to be Shasta? That’s an interesting coincidence.”
He grinned sheepishly. She’d caught him. “It wasn’t exactly a coincidence.”
He wondered if she would press the issue and force him to admit that he had not waited to be asked to take over the spot, but instead immediately gone to Mr. Wilde and exp
lained that he needed to be the one to go to Shasta the moment he heard of the position.
The smile on her face grew, and she nodded, as if he’d explained enough for her to glean the entire story. Her face lit up, and he was struck again by her beauty and cleverness, all wrapped together in his old friend.
God, he wanted to kiss her. As he lost himself in her eyes, his heart began to beat harder, shouting for him to press his lips against hers. The thought of kissing her was a strange new emotion for him, but it was strong. Sparks of sensation flowed through him at the thought. It would be a simple thing, really. He needed only to lean over a few inches.
No. If she felt differently, a kiss would only ruin the friendship he had rediscovered, and he would not do that. Their time together the past two days was too important for that. He forced himself to break eye contact.
She shifted on the rock, and her hip slid along his, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. His body reacted so strongly to her. It was difficult to keep his mind on explaining the mundane details of life when everything about him sizzled at the thought of caressing her cheek, touching her silken hair, kissing her hard and long, feeling her body with his hands…
He attempted to hide the reactions of his body to his thoughts, turning away from her slightly to avoid embarrassment, even though there was hardly room to do so and caused his body to rub against hers even more. His reaction was neither appropriate nor brotherly, and he couldn’t let himself get carried away.
They had been together again for such a short time, scarcely more than a day. Still, he could not deny the electricity he felt when he was near her. He needed to hide his feelings for her until he was sure she felt something more than a simple brotherly affection for him.
Mary studied Jimmy while they talked, allowing herself to absorb the reality of his presence. He was a very attractive man, tall, and despite working as a bank manager, she could see that his body was strong and lean from working on the claims and whatever else he had done since they last saw each other.